


White Chocolate and Short Stack

by InsightfulInsomniac



Category: Glee
Genre: Humor, M/M, also Kurt is a tease yet again, theyre honestly the best, tons of Blam friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 01:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18790297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsightfulInsomniac/pseuds/InsightfulInsomniac
Summary: Kurt’s out grocery shopping, the football game on TV is boring, and Sam and Blaine are reminiscing. What could happen?Aka Blaine asks Sam to teach him some stripper moves, and Kurt comes home earlier than expected.





	White Chocolate and Short Stack

**Author's Note:**

> A few of my favorite things are in this fic:  
> 1\. Blam  
> 2\. Blaine being a dork  
> 3\. Kurt being the tease he is  
> Enjoy!

“This game sucks,” Sam sighs, taking a swig of his Coke as Blaine nods in agreement.

“It might just be the most boring football game I’ve ever watched.”

They both turn their attention back to the TV nonetheless, when a commercial for coffee creamer suddenly appears onscreen.

_ “ Taste the silky smooth richness of our brand-new flavor: white chocolate .” _

Sam groans. “Oh god. That just sounds wrong after my stripper days.”

Blaine snorts. “White chocolate was your stripper name?”

“Unfortunately,” Sam nods. “Ah, memories.”

Blaine laughs, then suddenly quiets, pausing for a second before grabbing the remote and muting the TV.

“Sam,” he begins, turning to face him. “I know it’s super late, but I just realized that I never truly apologized for what I said to you about stripping.”

Sam shrugs. “It’s cool, bro. The past is in the past.”

“But it’s not cool,” Blaine shakes his head. “That was awful of me to say; I was entirely ignorant and you deserve an apology, no matter how late it is.”

“Well, thanks Blaine,” Sam nods, his face breaking out into a grin. “Besides, I’m in a much better industry now — modeling.”

The two of them share a laugh. “I don’t know, Sam,” Blaine jokes. “If you made as much money as you did stripping in Lima, imagine what you could make stripping in New York!”

“You’re right!” Sam exclaims, patting Blaine on the shoulder. “We could strip together! Be White Chocolate and Short Stack!”

“Woah woah woah, I did not approve the name ‘Short Stack,’” Blaine remarks. 

“Too late, it’s already stuck,” Sam replies. “We’d make so much money, oh my god. You’d pay of school so fast!”

“Before we could become a stripping duo, you’d have to teach me some of your signature moves,” Blaine comments. “I don’t know the first thing about stripping besides the fact that you have to look sexy.”

“Looking sexy is only half of it,” Sam remarks. “The other half is confidence. You do have to be able to dance, but that’s not going to be an issue with you.”

“Even though we’re not being serious about becoming a stripper duo,” Blaine says, “I’m still interested to learn some of the moves. I think it’d be fun. At least more fun than watching this game.”

“Ooh, planning a show for Kurt?” Sam teases, standing up from the couch. “I think he’d enjoy that.”

“We’ll see how this goes first,” Blaine laughs, flushing slightly. “I can’t seduce my fiancé if he’s laughing at how stupid I look.”

“No problem, buddy,” Sam grins, patting him on the back. “White Chocolate is making a comeback just to give you a lesson.”

Sam grabs his phone, turning on some generic club-sounding music. “I’ll give you a list of good stripping songs, but I’m not going to use a song with words while we practice because you’ll end up singing and getting distracted.”

Blaine laughs. “Probably a good idea.”

“Also, I don’t really feel comfortable stripping in your house,” Sam comments. “So I’m going to keep my clothes on.”

“Oh my god, please do,” Blaine agrees. “I don’t need that in-depth of a lesson.”

“Okay, the first move you’ve got to perfect as a stripper is the body roll,” Sam begins, demonstrating seamlessly. “I think you can do this one. Try it.”

Blaine copies his movement almost perfectly, and Sam nods.

“You’ve got it! Most of stripping involves body part isolation. Basically, you want to be able to move your hips, for example, without necessarily moving your legs or most of your torso.”

Sam demonstrates just a simple circle of his hips with and without body isolation, and Blaine nods.

“Okay, so like this?”

He copies Sam’s movement, again with nearly practiced ease.

Sam claps. “I should’ve known this would be easy for you! You’re the best dancer I know.”

Blaine grins. “Thanks, Sam. But I really am learning a lot.”

“Good,” he replies. “Let’s try a few minutes of improv with the music. Just do what feels right, remembering the tips that I taught you. Stripping is all improv after you learn the basics.”

“Okay, I’m ready,” Blaine grins as Sam turns the music up, counting them in.

“5-6-7-8,” Sam says, and Blaine laughs despite beginning to dance. “That sounded so professional, Sam.”

“Hey, White Chocolate is very professional!”

Because the music is so loud, the two boys do not notice the sound of the door being unlocked and opened, or the fact that Kurt is walking into their apartment with groceries in hand.

“What the hell are you two doing?”

The two boys stop dancing immediately, both of them blushing wildly as Kurt looks at them as if they have three heads.

“Uh, Sam was teaching me some of his stripper moves,” Blaine relays sheepishly. “The game was boring.”

“And no clothes came off!” Sam clarifies quickly and all too loudly.

“You were teaching my fiancé stripper moves?” Kurt repeats, still staring at them in extreme confusion. 

“Uh, yep,” Sam replies. “Sorry?”

Kurt shakes his head quickly, as if he’s trying to clear the image of what he just saw from his head. “Don’t apologize. I mean, it’s only a Sunday afternoon; things could be weirder.”

With that, Kurt turns and heads for the kitchen, and Blaine scrambles to follow him, sputtering out something about helping him put away the groceries.

Blaine steps up beside him at the counter. “Are you mad?” He asks softly.

Kurt laughs slightly, but genuinely. “Why would I be mad? I’m sufficiently weirded out, but I’m definitely not mad.”

“Okay, good,” Blaine sighs, wrapping his arms around Kurt from behind and resting his head gently on his shoulder. “I’m sorry you’re weirded out.”

Kurt chuckles. “I think I was more taken aback by the situation than by the dancing, if that makes you feel any better.”

“A little bit,” Blaine grins, and Kurt turns in his arms to face him, flipping them around so Blaine’s the one getting pressed into the countertop.

“Do you think I could get a private dance?” Kurt breathes, raising an eyebrow, his mouth quirking up into a smirk.

“Mm, maybe later,” Blaine teases. “For the right price. I’m not cheap, you know.”

“I think I can find some form of payment that’ll be enough,” Kurt replies lowly, leaning in to kiss Blaine deeply but quickly, leaving the lingering promise of more.

“Help me unpack the groceries,” Kurt remarks, detaching himself from his fiancé and beginning to put away the food.

Blaine groans, throwing his head back in defeat as he reluctantly begins emptying bags. “I hate when you do that to me.”

“Do what?” Kurt asks innocently, putting a gallon of milk in the fridge.

“You guys know I can hear you, right?” Sam suddenly calls, any residual shame from earlier now completely gone. “This apartment is way too open sometimes.”

Kurt just shrugs in Blaine’s direction, and if he murmurs _“_ _Later_ _,”_ in his fiancé’s ear when he passes by him once again, well, then no one would be the wiser.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: @zigxzag-klaine


End file.
